Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections
Compiled by Veronica Breaux, MA, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern and Adoption Filmmaker Shelby Kilgore
What if there was a way we no longer had to guess what adoptees were thinking?
As an adoptee and mental health professional, Veronica has personally experienced and seen the effects the loss of the first family can have. Some professionals consider adoption loss as a developmental trauma that begins from the moment of relinquishment from the first mother. Like other traumas, it can be difficult to talk about, forcing the adoptee to confront the pain of their past.
Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections is a compilation of experiences from those who have been adopted. The authors asked adoptees of various ages, backgrounds, and experiences to share their personal adoption stories. They discuss some of the joys and challenges associated with living a lifetime of unanswered questions leading to their past and identity.
Jules Alvarado, internationally renowned public speaker, author, and Licensed Professional Counselor, shares her insight on adoption related trauma.
This book is a great resource for: Mental Health Professionals, Educators, Adoptive Parents, Prospective Adoptive Parents and Those in Reunion.
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Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections
Rooted in Adoption
A montage of adoptees’ creative pieces about what adoption means to them.
“Rooted in Adoption has earned a place in my heart as one of my favorite reads. It is a book that every adoptee, adoptive and birth parents (especially prospective adoptive parents), and adoption and mental health professionals need to read and keep on their shelf. As an adoptee, this is a book that I will pick up time and time again when I need to feel less alone, comforted, and heard.”
— Jessenia Parmer, adoptee, Founder of I Am Adopted
Link to Full Review - “Rooted in Adoption: A Must Read for Everyone Touched by Adoption”
“It is a rare privilege to read first-hand recollections from adoptees who have risked much to share their vulnerable truths. This collection of essays reminds us that adoptees are not a monolith - no two experiences are alike, yet all are valid.”
— Angela Tucker
“Well done! This book is a beautiful collection of a great mix of domestic and intercountry adoption experiences! It provides a great read for those wanting a broad overview of the experiences we live! I absolutely LOVED the foreword by Jules Alvardo! She has accurately portrayed the complexities that are adoption and does so with such eloquence! Thank you for sharing these voices and I hope this book reaches many who want to understand more the impact of relinquishment and adoption.”
- Lynelle Long, Founder InterCountry Adoptee Voices
“As an adoptee, I found myself within many pages of these courageous reflections. Our experiences are all so different. I have an adopted brother (always weird to need to distinguish my two brothers who I grew up with in this way) whose experience is different than mine. But he and I have never spoken about our adoption stories. I am aware that not everyone is always ready to talk, but this book has sparked the realization that maybe I should at least initiate the dialogue. Thank you to all of you who shared your journey and shared your truth as you have come to understand it.”
— Eva Horner, adoptee
“Rooted in Adoption is a great resource for adoptive families. Readers get an inside look of what it really feels like to be an adoptee. As a therapist, I think this a great book for parents of adoptees to read to better understand the variety of emotions, thoughts, and experiences that adoption can bring up and help parents to better connect and support their child. This is also a great opportunity for adoptees to see their feelings reflected and validated by others who have had similar experiences. If your family is connected to adoption in any way, this book is a must read. ”
— Rorri Geller-Mohamed, LCSW, Therapist and Parent Coach, U Power Change
“Rooted in Adoption is a collection of letters written by people affected by adoption. It is well organized and easy to find what you want. A person yearning to know how people involved in all aspects of adoption, especially adoptees, feel about their experiences can benefit. Some letters are positive and some negative. All reinforce the letter writer’s experience. A burden shared is somewhat diminished and a joy shared multiplies.”
— Susan, birth mother, adoptive mother
“Breaux and Kilgore have opened a precious portal to understanding for those of us who have little to no experience with adoption. We are met with children and adults of many ages, ethnicities, and backgrounds who were willing to share their thoughts, feelings, and personal accounts. While this is a must read for anyone considering adopting or fostering, I find it equally as important a read for any of us as every story is a reminder to be kind and compassionate to all. ”
— Stephanie Young, Violinist & Managing Partner, Fretless Music, LLC
“I am an adoptee and I struggle daily. I enjoyed reading how other adoptees had exceptional adoptive families that helped them feel love and belonging, and yet still feel like they were missing something. I could see myself in a few of the adoptees which made me connect to them. I am not from one of the ‘perfect’ adoptive stories. I wish it could’ve been better but I know that that’s a fantasy. Adoption is based on fantasy.
I would love to see all of the triad read this and see adoption for what it is. Adoption is complex and complicated. It is confusing for all involved. There is good and bad but never ‘normal’.
I can only hope that society gets something out of these truths that are rarely spoken aloud or even believed.”
— Virginia MacKay, adoptee
“Rooted in Adoption is a new anthology of short pieces by adoptees reflecting on their experience as adoptees. As such, it is a wonderful addition to the growing canon of books, films and podcasts that bring our often silenced or neglected adoptee voices forward.
As a therapist, I work with adoptees whose awareness of their adoption as an influence on them now has usually just changed dramatically. Maybe they had a life event that brings it up (birth, death, marriage, divorce) or maybe they have just had an inner shift that brings their feelings and identity into question in a new way. So an anthology with so much variety of circumstance reminded me of my client work, and how adoption is a part of us at all times, and then it comes more to the foreground at particular times and in particular circumstances.
This really is a support group in book form, with something for everyone, and I recommend it not only for adoptees on their own healing journey and other members of the adoption triad but also for all the people outside the triad who love adoptees and want to understand more of the adoptee experience.”
— Jennifer Griesbach, LCSW
Link to full review: Rooted in Adoption: A Collection of Adoptee Reflections
Book Review by Dr. Debbie Garratt, Executive Director at Real Choices Australia
There are no more important voices in the adoption discussion than those of adoptees; arguably the people most affected by adoption and those most marginalised and silenced throughout their lives. The conflicts of loyalty and love toward adoptive families, yearning for biological connections and grief at the trauma of loss, can sit heavily on adoptees for a lifetime. Far from being a one-sided perspective, Rooted in Adoption provides a valuable insight into the breadth of adoptee experiences, allowing adoptees a voice they seldom experience.
It is not just the loss of a mother or father that can be grieved, but the disconnection of an entire history and extended family, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and even siblings. Complicating such grief is the genuine love many express toward their adoptive families, the common rhetoric that adoptees should just be grateful, and the lack of understanding most people have of the fact that children are not blank slates, easily traded, unharmed from one family to another.
We must place adoptee voices at the centre of our discussions on adoption as adoption is not a single time event, but a life-long experience. If we truly want to understand the impact of adoption, this book should be required reading for all; prospective adoptive parents, law-makers and women considering adoption.
Book Review by Teri Wheeler, genealogist and searcher
Rooted in Adoption is an important resource for those of us who hope to understand the complex psyche of our adopted clients, friends and family members. As a genealogist who helps adoptees identify their birth families through DNA analysis, I feel better equipped, after reading Rooted in Adoption, to interact with clients who may be anxious about beginning their search.
In the Forward by Jules Alverado MA, LPC, the reader learns of the trauma of adoption , abandonment issues, lack of self-worth which many adoptees experience and the importance of listening to the voice of the adoptee who may be expressing him or herself through their actions instead of words.
The collection of stories compiled by authors Veronica Breaux and Shelby Kilgore gives the reader the unedited and unvarnished truth of adoption as experienced by the adoptees of varying ages, nationalities and backgrounds. In my opinion, Rooted in Adoption should be required reading for anyone who wishes to adopt a child.
Rooted in Adoption Journal
Coloring Page to Download
Rooted in Adoption Journal Video Review
Rooted in Adoption Journal
A journal written for adoptees by an adoptee! Purchase the journal at Book Baby.
"This journal is filled with writing prompts and moving quotes that will connect you with your deepest thoughts and needs. Offering powerful pages of introspection that can be a path to healing from the wounds of adoption all adoptees could benefit from."
Karla Bilderbeck, LMHC, ART
“I've now bought four of these journals and have been giving them to the adoptees in my private practice. I really appreciate how the journal balances the losses and grief connected to the lifelong challenges adoptees struggle with ... while bringing hope and a path towards healing. Well done Veronica ... this is a gem of a journal. I want more resources that are built for the adoptee community and that come from the adoptee community. I highly recommend..”
— Allison Davis Maxon, M.S., LMFT
Download for free Rooted in Adoption - A Reflections Journal and four bookmarks by Veronica Breaux.
Four free bookmarks to print.